Shaykh Zayd Al Madhkhali (hafithahuAllah)
Translated by Rasheed ibn Estes Barbee
Is it permissible for a woman, if she finds an upright man upon the methodology of the pious predecessors, to present herself to him for marriage; what is your advice?
Answer (Shaykh Zayd):
In reality, seeking a suitable man is something encouraged by the legislation because marital life has importance and it has effects, thus the woman seeking an upright husband is proof of her uprightness.
Therefore this woman, if it is possible for the speech to be between her guardian and the man she hopes will seek her hand in marriage then this is better. She can direct her guardian to handle her affair. If she does not have the chance to speak to her guardian then she can use an elder sister as a go-between, such as the mother or the sister and the like, so they can present this issue and desire (for marriage) in order that she does not miss out on a good man. There is no harm in this.
But if what is meant by presenting herself, is by holding a conversation, or by the means which are known today such as showing a picture or exchanging pictures, or a lot of phone calling; then this is clearly detrimental to the people.
Thus the point is, her requesting is good but it must done is respectable dignified manner not by the means known today such as the internet and the telephone.
And if it happens to be by way of the phone and he speaks to her concerning his desire for marriage then it should be one sentence only. And it is that he proposes to herand that is sufficient. As for getting carried away in conversation then this in not permissible until she becomes his wife.