Question: What do you have to say about what some husbands say to their wives when they marry a second one whereas they might say: “You have the option to either be divorced or remain here with your children”, and if she doesn’t respond to him is there any harm in that? And what if she hasn’t had any children by him yet?
Sheikh Muhammad ibn Saalih al-’Uthaymeen, may Allaah have mercy upon him, answers: “Firstly, it saddens us very much what many of the women do when their husbands remarry. They do many things that are not befitting for them to do from shouting, seperating from their husbands, hatred, requesting a divorce from the husband or to divorce the new one and the likes of these affairs.
What is proper for her to do is take this matter easy and be calm because this occurred from the Prophet himself, may peace and blessings be upon him, the virtuous believers from amongst the Sahaabah and the followers of the Sahaabah up until our time. And as long as Allaah has permitted for the man to marry up to four women then He is the Most Knowledgable, All- Wise and Most Merciful. So the women must strive to make this affair easy upon themselves and be patient upon what happens to them from hardships and not to request from their husbands anything.
However I honestly think that if the husband finds the affairs easy going with his first wife, then he’ll likewise be easy, but when some womens’ husbands marry again they coerce the man into doing things he doesn’t want to do and request certain things from him that he dislikes and this is when he says to her, “you have the choice to stay here with your children and endure what occurs from me and remain the woman of the house or if you want a divorce then I’ll give you a divorce.”
And if the man says this then there isn’t anything wrong with that because it is the reality. When Sawdah bint Zam’ah, one of the mothers of the believers, may Allaah be pleased with her, grew old and saw that the Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him, thought about releasing her from being his wife, she was intelligent, and thus she gave her days to ‘Aaisha, the mother of the believers, may Allaah be pleased with her. Because she knew that the Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him, used to love ‘Aaisha much. Therefore she gave her days to her remaining with no portion of days however she still remained the mother of the believers may Allaah be pleased with her.”