The ettiquettes of the Duaat and the characteristics which are necessary for them have been explained by Allaah The mighty and Majestic in many different ayaat in different places in the Quraan.
The First of them: Sincerity
So it is Waajib upon the daaee to have Ikhlaas for the sake of Allaah The Mighty and Majestic. He should not be desiring to show the people, or desiring to have a good image, nor should he desire the praises and rewards of the people. Instead the Daaee must call only to Allaah, seeking from this the Face of Allaah. He the One Free from All Imperfections says:
Say: This is my way, I call unto Allaah, with Baseerah (insight, wisdom, knowledge based on Quraan and Sunnah)
And Allaah The Mighty And Majestic says:
And who is better in speech than one who invites to Allaah
So it is on you to have Ikhlaas and to only give da`wah to Allaah, and this is the most important characteristic, and a great attribute, meaning you should seek the Face of Allaah, and an abode in the Hereafter.
To call the people to Allaah with knowledge, and not with ignorance.
Say: This is my way, I call unto Allaah with knowledge
So knowledge is a Fardh obligation in da`wah. So beware of giving da`wah while being in a state of ignorance (of what you are giving da`wah to). So ignorance destoys (the da`wah) it does not strengthen (the da`wah), and it makes corruption. Not reformation and correction. O slave of Allaah, fear Allaah, and be warned of speaking about Allaah without knowledge, and do not call to anything except after having aqcuired knowledge of it, and having Baseerah into the saying of Allaah, and His Messenger. So it is upon the student of knowledge and the daaee to have the knowledge, and Baseerah about that which they are calling to, while knowing its proofs.
From the Akhlaaq which are necessary to have is, O caller, is moderateness in your da`wah, and be gentle and patient in it. All the Messengers(a) were this way.
Beware of being strict and harsh in your da`wah. Be patient, and gentle (when dealing with the people). In this issue, some proofs have preceded, from them is the saying of Allaah The Mighty and Majestic:
Invite to the way of your Lord with wisdom and good instruction, and argue with them in The way that is best
And the saying of Him, the Glorified One:
So by Mercy from Allaah,(O Muhammad)you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude,and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you.
And The saying of His the Most Majestic regarding Moosaa and Haaroon:
And speak to him with gentle speech that perhaps he may be reminded or fear
And in an authentic Hadeeth, the Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) said:
O Allaah, Whoever is a guardian over any of the affairs of my Ummaah and he is gentle with them, then be gentle with him. And whoever is a guardian over any of the affairs of my Ummaah, and he is harsh with them, then be harsh with him.
So it is upon you O slave of Allaah to be soft in your da`wah, and not to be harsh with the people. Do not make people turn away from the Deen because of your harshness, ignorance or similar behaviour. It is upon you to be gentle and pleasant in speech, so that your words may have an effect on the heart of your brother, or that it may have an effect on the one whom your da`wah is directed towards. Then the people will have a better appreciation of your da`wah. So unnecessary harshness causes people to become distant, not close. And it causes seperation, not unity.
From the necessary -or Waajib- ettiquetes and attributes that a daaee must have is action which is in accordance to what he is giving da`wah to.
He should not call to something and then not do it himself, or call to the abandonment of something whilst doing it himself. This are the conditions of the losers. We seek Allaahs refuge from this. It is those Muminoon who who call to the truth, act upon their da`wah and hurry towards righteousness and avoid the Haraam. These are the ones who will be successful and will be rewarded.
Allaah The Mighty and Majestic says:
O you who believe, why do say that which you do not do? It is despised in the sight of Allaah that you say that which you do not do.
And Allaah The Glorified One said, in condemnation of the Jews in enjoining righteousness upon the people whilst forgetting it themselves:
Do you enjoin righteousness upon the people whilst you forget to practice it, and you recite from the Book? Have you no sense?
And it has been authentically reported on the Prophet (sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) who said:
A man will be brought on the Day of Judgement and he will be thrown into Hell so that his intestines come out and he will go around just like a donkey goes around the millstone. The people of Hell will gather around him and say: O so and so (Fulaan), what happened to you? Did you not used to enjoin good on us and prohibit us from evil? So he will say: I used to order you with good and not do it myself, and I used to prohibit you from evil, and I did it.
This will be the condition of the one who calls to Allaah, enjoining the good and prohibiting the evil, whilst acting contrary to his word, or making statements that differ with his actions. We refuge in Allaah from this! So from the most important attributes, and the greatest of its obligations is to act according to his da`wah and stay away from those things that he prohibits. The daaee should have a praiseworthy personality and an excellent behaviour, while in a state of patience and calling to patience. The daaee should be sincere in his da`wah and strive in spreading goodness amongst the people, and keeping them away from falsehood. And with that he should supplicate for guidance for them(the people his is giving da`wah to). Say: May Allaah guide you, grant you the ability to accept the truth. May He help you with acceptance of the truth. (Hidaak Allaah wa faqak Allaah li qubool al Haqq Aaanak Allaah alaa qubool al Haqq).
So from the excellent manners of a daaee is supplicating, guiding, and being patient with the harms that come with this da`wah. When the Prophet(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) was informed that the tribe of Daws was becoming disobedient, he(s) said: O Allaah guide Daws and bring them close.
So the daaee should make dua for guidance and ability to accept the truth for the one he is giving da`wah to, and he should have patience and enjoin patience in it. He should not despair, of have hopelesness, or say anything except that which is good. He should not be harsh and strict, he should neither say a statement which might cause aversion to the truth. However, if anyone commits aggression and injustice, then a different treament is given to those people, as Allaah the Most Majestic, and Most High says:
And do not argue with the people of the Book except in a way that is good, except those who commit injustice.
So a dhaalim (one who commits injustice), who opposes the da`wah with evil and enmity, and seeks to cause harm, is to be dealt with in a different manner. If possible, such a person should be imprisoned, or something similar to that. This depends on the kind of opposition to the da`wah. However, as long as he causes no harm, then it is upon you to be patient, and self-evaluating, and to argue with him in ways that are best. If any personal harm was caused by that person, then harm should be endured with patience – as did the Messenger(sallallahu alaihi wa sallam) and those who followed them in good, and righteousness, enduring harms in patience.
I ask Allaah the Majestic to grant us all the well being and the ability to give this da`wah with wisdom. May He correct our hearts and our actions, and that He grants us understanding of the Deen and evidence on it. Make of those who are guided, while guiding other, righteous, and teaching others righteousness. Surely He is the Most Majestic, the most Supreme, the Most Noble. And may Allaahs prayers, peace and blessings on His slave, and Messenger, and Prophet Muhammad, and on his Companions all those who follow him until the Day of Jugdement.