Our brother has an issue with his wife. He mentions first that he’s constantly in contention with her for reasons that are trivial most of the time. What do you advise these two spouses with?
Sheikh ‘Abdul ‘Azeez bin Baaz, may Allaah
have mercy upon him, answers: “We advise both of them with forbearance and gentleness, and encouragement upon the truth and patience. Abandoning argumentation and divorce. We advise everyone to cooperate upon good and encouragement upon the truth and forsaking differing. We advise the woman to hear and obey her husband in that which is good. We advise the husband with patience, forbearance and not being hasty when it comes to divorce, hitting or cursing. Each one of them must bare the harms of the other and use gentleness in all their affairs. Due to the statement of the Prophet, may peace and blessings be upon him: “Indeed gentleness is not found in a thing except that it beautifies it and it isn’t removed from a thing except that it uglifies it.”
And this act in included in the statement of Allaah, the Most High:
“And live with them in kindness.” [4:19]
“And for they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses, etc.) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect, etc.) to what is reasonable” [2:228]
Therefore, constant arguing and conflict between spouses are from the reasons of divorce. Likewise cursing and name-calling. So it is obligatory upon each of them to guard their tongues from what is unbefitting, the body parts from what is unbefitting, gentleness in their affairs and forbearance and patience.”