Shaykh Uthaymeen: My advice to these men is for them to be men in the true sense of the word, and they should control themselves and not give in to anger. A man said to the Prophet, peace and blessings are upon him: Advise me. He responded: Do not become angry. The man repeated his request several times, and he continued to say: Do not become angry.
And the cure for the disputes that occur between the spouses is not for the husband to expel her from the home and send her to her family; this is not permissible except under extreme circumstances. Rather it is appropriate for him to be loving with his wife and to pardon her misconduct.
And the Messenger of Allah, peace be upon him said: Let not the believing man despise the believing woman. (Do not despise, meaning do not hate or detest) Let not the believing man despise the believing woman, if he hates a characteristic from her will be pleased with another of her characteristics.
Thus it is befitting for the man to be a man in the true sense of the word.
Who is the one who forgets all the good deeds if one evil deed occurs? Who is the one who forgets all the good deeds if one evil deed befalls them? (The answer is) The woman. Are you pleased to reduce yourself until you are on the level of a woman? If you see one evil deed from her you say: I have never seen any good from you.
Thus I advise our brothers, if there occurs between them and their wives problems, they must remain patient, endure and deal with the woman in the appropriate manner as we have been advised by the Prophet, peace and blessings are upon him.
He said: The woman is created from the rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the upmost part. If you try to straighten it, you will break her, so if you enjoy her, then enjoy her with the crookedness that is in her.
This is how it was said by the Prophet, peace and blessings are upon him.
And if the man obeys Allah and His Messenger in dealing with his family, Allah will replace the animosity and hatred in her heart, changing it to compassion and love. Allah the Exalted says:
وَلَا تَسْتَوِي الْحَسَنَةُ وَلَا السَّيِّئَةُ ادْفَعْ بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ فَإِذَا الَّذِي بَيْنَكَ وَبَيْنَهُ عَدَاوَةٌ
The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allah ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become)…
Complete the verse.
كَأَنَّهُ وَلِيٌّ حَمِيمٌ
As though he was a close friend
The hearts are in the Hand of Allah the Exalted. Repel the evil with that which is better, O believers.